A Third Anniversary

The more you see the less you know

The less you find out as you go

I knew much more then than I do now . . .

-U2

Ah, but I was so much older then,

I'm younger than that now.

-Bob Dylan

So it's been three years since Kristen passed and I'm still short on big thoughts. I do know one thing: Samuel Stone Hartland looks more like his amazing mother everyday. He is great - she couldn't have left a better legacy.

Sam's Growing Up!

He likes shaving with me in the morning



In Rhode Island

In West Texas. Check out the lefty!

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A Second Anniversary

We remembered this second anniversary of Kristen's passing with a small service. It's taken a couple of years for any of us to speak some passable thoughts about what her life meant and is still meaning, but the word that struck us all was fearless. Kristen was fearless in her love, assured beyond the circumstances, and valiant to the end.

Peonies for Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day!

Sam is a wonderful, wonderful boy - an honorable legacy for a brave and honorable mother.

30th Birthday

Kristen would have turned 30 today. It is sad that her life was so short, but I remember that if it weren't for a miracle in the fall of 2003, she wouldn't have seen her 27th birthday and Sam wouldn't have seen his first. Just so you know, Sam and I are doing very well, and grateful everyday for the years Kristen did have here.
Photos provided by Brooke Schwab

Thanksgiving 2006

I am thankful for the Hartland (above) and Stone families this Thanksgiving.

The One-Year Anniversary

Kristen Laura Stone Hartland

December 28, 1976 - June 7, 2005

I continue to remember the beauty of your life, the joy of our love, and the bond we have in our son. I cannot stop being overwhelmed with gratitude for your time here with us, and am so thankful for our miracle child, Sam. He is as amazing as his mother.
"What can I give back to God for the blessings He's poured out on me?"

Psalm 116:12 [from The Message]

The Hartland Sisters

I haven't always been thankful for my eleven sisters. That is not the case now. Nobody is more thankful for the abundance of Hartland sisters than Sam and I. Every day, one of them (and Kristen's mother, Darla) helps us make the day happen. I especially need to recognize Adele, Sarah, Monica, and Darla - they are our heroes.
Photo provided by Brooke Schwab

Groundhog Day

Today, February 2, would have been our fifth anniversary. Everyday, I feel wonder that I was so lucky to have been "chosen" to be with her during her prime.

Thank You

Winter 2004

I gratefully acknowledge the contributions to Kristen's Memorial Fund so far this year from the generous organizations and individuals listed below. In the not too distant past, young women in Kristen's situation had little hope of both treating their disease and preserving the health of the unborn child. Now, Dr. Theriault's research has helped give pregnant women surprised by breast cancer a new choice.
To read a recent article about the fund click here. To donate click here. Designate that the fund be in memory of Kristen Hartland and also check the option for "Fund designated by family."

Lindsay and Nathan W. Adair
Mr. and Mrs. Tom Adams
Administaff
Mr. and Mrs. Gene L. Blanchard
Miss Allison F. Blanton
Mr. and Mrs. Henry Bragg
Mrs. Claire Coale
Kelley and Mark Corwin
Mr. and Mrs. Jim Eastin
Mr. and Mrs. Michael V. Eiben
Mr. and Mrs. Jeff Fawcett
Mr. and Mrs. Gregory Frommert
Dr. and Mrs. Kenneth E. German
Ms. Alicia Gousis
Miss Diana Jill Hartland
Miss Hannah M. Hartland
Mr. and Mrs. Patrick Hays
Ms. Beverly J. Helgerson
Selene E. Hendricks
Mr. Brandon K. Holcomb
Mr. and Mrs. Kevin Holcomb
Mr. and Mrs. Deane Honeycutt
Ms. Lori A. Hood
Erin and Calvin Jones
Kathleen Juhl
Darcy and William Kazanecki
Mr. Patrick R. Laughlin
Mr. and Mrs. Lawrence Lawyer
Lori Hood and Danny McClung
Mr. and Mrs. Sean McFarling
Mr. and Mrs. Toby Mongan
Mr. and Mrs. Bartel Morgan
Ms. Anna V. Patton
Lani Poynor
Mr. and Mrs. E. Gregory Przybyszewski
Leslie S. Randall
Mr. and Mrs. Joshua L. Randle
Mr. and Mrs. Robert A. Raschke
Mr. and Mrs. Jeffrey K. Reed
Cindy Jo and Ronnie Reeves
Reverend and Mrs. Warren Rikard
RJR Engineering
Mr. Norm Rosenfield
Anna Schmidt
Mr. and Mrs. Martin K. Scirratt
Linda Brooks and James L. Searcy
Mr. and Mrs. Keith Short
Ms. Elaine Stacha
The Steffler Family
Mr. and Mrs. Floyd E. Stone
The Stone Family Reunion
Mr. and Mrs. Allan R. Sturdivant
Mr. and Mrs. Britton D. Sudduth
Ms. Pamela Thacker
Mr. and Mrs. Austin Ware and Family
Mr. and Mrs. Darren Webster
Ms. G. Ann Wright
Young Texans Against Cancer

Playing in the Rain Puddles

We spent Thanksgiving in San Antonio with Kristen's family. We arrived back in Houston in time to stomp around in Saturday's puddles.
Sam owns the puddle at the end of our driveway.

Happy Birthday Sam!

We celebrated Sam's second birthday this weekend. Besides being a family name, Kristen and I drew inspiration for Samuel's name from a Bible story. The story is about a devout woman who prayed desperately for a son. When he was born she “named him Samuel, explaining, ‘I asked God for Him.’ ”
Later, she explains the special circumstances of Samuel’s birth to her priest, saying “I prayed for this child, and God gave me what I asked for. And now I have dedicated him to God. He’s dedicated to God for life.”
I Samuel Chapter 1. Quoted from “The Message”

Otherwise

--October 2004

Otherwise
I got out of bed
on two strong legs.
It might have been
otherwise. I ate
cereal, sweet
milk, ripe, flawless
peach. It might
have been otherwise.
I took the dog uphill
to the birch wood.
All morning I did
the work I love.

At noon I lay down
with my mate. It might
have been otherwise.
We ate dinner together
at a table with silver
candlesticks. It might
have been otherwise.
I slept in a bed
in a room with paintings
on the walls, and
planned another day
just like this day.
But one day, I know,
it will be otherwise.
-Jane Kenyon

Thank you to my friend, Miho Nonaka for sending me that poem. On more than a few occasions, Kristen and I discussed how - before she was diagnosed - we took our good health for granted.

In the News

Sam with Kristen's Oncologist, Dr. Theriault.

Our local, neighborhood Houston Chronicle did a story about Kristen's Memorial Fund at M. D. Anderson. For those of you that missed it and would like to read it, click here.
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Vacation Pictures

New York



New York: Sam and I represented the Hartlands at the Stone family reunion picnic.


New York: As a child, Kristen loved to play in these cornfields behind her grandparent's home.


Boston: Taking in a ballgame at Fenway Park.


Newport, Rhode Island


Central Park, NYC




Asheville, North Carolina: At a festival.

After a nice respite from the heat, Sam and I are back in Houston. I hope you enjoy these pictures (by the way, I just posted a lot more pictures of Kristen in the "Pictures" section). As you can see we really had a great time.
Sam traveled well. Thank you all for your prayers of safe travel for the two of us.
As you can imagine, people are often asking me how I'm doing. The best response I can give is to tell them that every day is very different. Some days are full of tears and other days are full of fun and distraction. I certainly understand what another young husband meant in a grieving/coping book I recently read. He said that it was impossible for him to live without her forever, but maybe he could live without her for just today. That's very much how I feel - I just try to take each day individually. Forever is too hard to grasp.

Sam and I will escape this heat and be in the Northeast for the next three weeks.
Up to the very end, Kristen spoke of showing me her grandparent's home near Lake Placid, NY. She spent many of her childhood summers there and had many fond memories. We'll also spend some time with other friends and family in the region.
Thank you all for your continued prayers, thoughts and kindnesses. You are all very dear to me.

A Letter for My Birthday

The past week or so has been particularly sad and difficult for me and full of tears. I have been intensely missing Kristen.
And today is my birthday. And guess what I found while looking through my nightstand last night: a very recent, unopened card from Kristen.

On the front:
Love is the passionate dance between two hearts.
It is to believe in the dream, and together make it real.
-Sylvana Rossetti

Inside (edited):
My dearest David,
It is true what I said the other day - I love you more every day as you help me through these difficult and painful days. I believe God has prepared us for these moments. Your love for me is modeled after Christ's love for me. I know that God's love for us will carry us through these painful days . . .
God has never asked us to understand and get over it. He wants to be the one we go to in our grief, in our weeping, and in our remembering of our joyful days, which will come again.
The greatest blessing Christ has given to you and me is Samuel Stone Hartland. He is our legacy and he will always be our miracle . . . Sam is another chord God has linked us together with, one that will never be broken . . . I know I've said it a hundred times and no one should ever make you doubt that you are an amazing dad. I really believe it is a gift from God . . .
We will still pray every day for a miracle, but if God doesn't give us one it doesn't change a single thing. His love is still the same, our love is still the same, and our love for Sam is still the same. Never question those things they are truth.
I love you with all that I am - heart, body, and soul.
Kristen

Sam Loved His Mother

Just thought I'd share a couple of my favorite pictures of Kristen and Sam.
They really had a very deep connection.
Thank you all for posting your thoughts and remembrances. They are of great comfort to us.

Funeral Arrangements

KRISTEN LAURA HARTLAND, 28, of Houston passed away on June 7, 2005. She went to be with her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ after a courageous three-year battle with breast cancer. She deeply loved her husband of four years, David Adam, and was passionately devoted to their eighteen-month old son, Samuel Stone. Samuel's miraculous birth was God's gracious fulfillment of Kristen's lifelong hope of motherhood. She is also survived by her parents, John and Darla Stone; sisters, Erica Jennings and Rebecca Stone; and brother, Carl Stone. Kristen is also survived by her mother and father in law, Joan and Charlie Hartland; sisters in law, Jill, Adele Teel, Monica, Sarah, Hannah, Joanna Smith, Susan, Abigail, Bethany, Rebekah, Amber; brothers in law Daniel and Charlie. Kristen's ready smile, Christ-like kindness and selfless love will be greatly missed by all who knew her. Friends are cordially invited to attend a visitation with the family from six until eight o'clock in the evening Thursday, the 9th of June 2005, in the library of Geo. H. Lewis & Sons, 1010 Bering Drive in Houston. A Funeral Service will be conducted at twelve o'clock in the afternoon Friday the 10th of June 2005, at St. John the Divine Episcopal Church, 2450 River Oaks Blvd., with the The Rev. Douglas W. Richnow officiating. A committal service will follow, via escorted cortege, at Woodlawn Cemetery.

"Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His godly ones." Psalm 116:15

Remembrances

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Today

As many of you now know, we were told by the doctors at MDACC that there is no other treatments available. Anywhere. Not in the U.S., Europe or anywhere else.
The scans of the liver show that it is completely overrun with cancer. The last treatment didn't even seem to slow the growth.
At first we thought she may have eight weeks left, but we've revised that based on the last two days. Her liver is beginning to completely shut down, and we now think there may only be days left.
Thank you for your continued love, understanding and most of all prayers during this very difficult time.
-DH

This week's news so far

You'll recall that Kristen was in the hospital for a week in early May, receiving that large dose of chemo directly to her liver. On Tuesday of this week we met with the specialist doctor overseeing that treatment, expecting to schedule her next dosage (due in a couple weeks). We were disappointed when he recommended discontinuing the treatment because it is not working. He suggested a CAT scan before he made any recommendations on our next course of action. When I asked him to speculate on what treatments may be available, he indicated that he'd rather wait until he could see the scan of Kristen's abdomen (she had that done today). We'll see him again early next week to discuss our next move.
It was bad news to hear, but not altogether surprising considering the increasing pain in her liver and her overall lack of energy.
On a separate front, MRI's show that the brain radiation she received has been very effective at eradicating those several tumors.